Dreams and Realities

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” ~Theodore Roosevelt.

I have had a hard time keeping up with the blog, and capturing cherished moments of Madelynne since summer has lapsed. I took on a bit more than I could chew and it has been a blessing and curse all in one. I gradually have lost sight of what drives me to no avail and truly what I love to do. Hopefully, as the next few weeks wind down some, I will get some time during winter break to evaluate the year and decide what happens next.

I have to be honest, I look at all these people around me living out their lives in exoctic locations or vacationing there, and I want to go beyond my realm of comfort so badly. I look at all these people in my life that have jumped off that scary, broken ledge into their realities and have seen so many people and dreams blossom. I’m tinged with the green of jealousy and I am ashamed for feeling this way. I want to wake up and be at point Z already, but am somehow stuck at point A more often than not. And that is frustrating.

I guess I started to really consider perspective of my goals and dreams and how to make them more of a reality. I also started to figure in time. People always say we have time, but sometimes I don’t think we have enough of the time they said we will always have, if that makes sense. I think of that Paula Cole song, “I don’t want to wait, for our lives to be over” to do all the things that my never-ending and adding on bucket list encompass. I guess I just want to embrace all that I can now, before time won’t be on my side.

Therefore, I am going to set some hefty goals for next year. Goals that have me struggling beyond my comfort zone and having me strive to be better at my passions, my career, being a mother, and being a a spiritually driven human.

I am going to dream and dream big. I don’t want Madelynne to look at us and not see the struggle and the want to reach for the stars. I want her to visualize that with hard work, dreams come true. I am making some of my dreams come true in 2015, that is truth.

Realities---well, attaining the dreams and goals is going to be time consuming and demanding. It is going to be strenuous. And I am going to be completely on board and supportive of my husband, who will also be reaching for the stars this year. We have a lot of big ideas, plastered on our dream board, and we intend to make those dreams real.

I’m hoping to be the one not doubting myself this year, but confident in the direction that is intended for me and my family. I am hoping I will make strides and progress at a pace that is not competitive but a pace that has me self-assess and grow. I want to be great at the many hats I wear and not just good or mediocre. I want to give it my all and give it all up to my God.

I recognize that my dreams may not blossom like I envision, that life will crash down on me like a tidal wave and I will be carried downstream, in the opposite direction of all that I want. However, I do know that by praying and asking God to intervene, that He has done nothing but answer the prayers in our hearts and given us complete resolve of many of our requests. I cannot fanthom  going into the new year alone, without considering a simple pray to ask for guidance, help, and reassurance. With that said, the intentions of making dreams and goals reality is much more of a driving force than anything I have felt in some time. 

 Let the journey begin...