My sister is a ball of wisdom, despite being three years younger than me. In the midst of the drama I have been dealing with, and trying to understand all that is happening, worrying about the future, and calling two or three times a week to get advice, she amazes me with her calm, collective reasoning and reminds me of what a great person and teacher I am and how everything will work out. “One way or another, it will all work out. I don’t know how, but it will.” She proceeds to remind me of the amazing people in my life, who continue to support me no matter what, and for that I am grateful.
What really angers me about the situation in my life that I have been dealing with is the entire matter of trust and feeling alone, out on a limb, while people I thought supported me, has only turned their back in spite of doing what is right. I really despise those that are two-faced, who treat you one way in front of your face and the next minute, turn around and stab you in the back with the bloody knife they used to cut the cake for you. I despise those that claim they will stand by you and support you but run, like a puppy with its tail between its legs, the opposite direction and scold and judge you for sticking up for what you know is right. I also dislike those that say they will stand by you, no matter what, but have disappeared as quickly as an early morning mist, leaving you to face the world alone. Is this how it will always be? Are there true people out there that won’t destroy you and your reputation just to get ahead?
I think this is where my trust issues seem to stem from, as this is the same, catty B.S. I have dealt with since junior high. Unfortunately, that same bullying/popular crowd kind of crap does not automatically dissipate as you get older. Sometimes, there is still an annoying high school level contest of popularity with a bunch of mean girls who tattle to the upperclassmen because the limelight is not on them. And then, when the wallflower wants to stand up for herself, she is ostracized, judged, ruined, and mistreated, until she is finally---poof----gone.
That brings me back to the conversation with my sister. She reminded me of those people that have stood by me through thick and thin, who I never thought would be there, and have not given up on me. Nor have they trampled over me to rise ahead or “keep” their place in the hierarchy of things. She also reminded that my parents, who are by far the most amazing individuals on the face of the earth, raised us to not stand down when we know that something is wrong. Like my sister said, we may not go about the best way to express our dismay about a situation, but we don’t back down when we know we are justly wronged or when a situation isn’t exactly right. We fight and stand up for what we believe in and this makes us survivors, through and through. And karma…well, it will catch up with those mean girls and those who scar, betray, judge, and berate us. It always does.
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